So, possibly as a way to shame myself into growing up, here is my top ten list of immature stuff I still cling on to:
1) Too scared to look in the mirror at night - when I was ten I read a ghost story that lead me to ban myself from horror fiction (a ban still very much in place). I can't remember the whole story other than it was about an antique mirror that would show a person standing behind you when you looked in it. Even now if I need the loo at night I won't let myself look in a mirror.2) Need musical motivation when tidying - I hate tidying and I get very easily distracted. Put these two characteristics together and you end up living in a pig-sty. When I was forced to tidy my room as a kid the only way I could do it was to put music on and challenge myself; by the end of this song I'll have folded all my clothes; by the end of this tune, I'll have sorted out the pile of books next to my bed without being led astray and finding myself on the bed half-way through chapter two. Even now I need to force myself to finish the washing up before the end of Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive, otherwise I’ll get distracted by the piece of newspaper I used to wrap the fish bones in.
3) Pretend I am on TV when I put make up on - this is excruciating to share but in the spirit of an open and honest discourse. Sometimes I pretend I am on TV and giving a demonstration on how to put make up on. Occasionally I even do half my face leaving the other half unmade up for a before and after look. Look, I don't wear a lot of make up - I can't be bothered with it, and I'm not very proficient at putting it on, which makes this confession even more risible, but possibly explains why I do it – I do get bored very easily.
4) Scared of the phone - I really hate talking on the phone. The phone is to make arrangements, not for chats. With friends living overseas this is increasingly difficult to avoid but it is hard work not to just hang up once we have both confirmed we are "fine".
5) Squeeze spots - This I thought I'd grow out of because I'd stop getting spots. Apparently not, thanks hormones.
6) Count steps - you know when you are really tired on you way home and you are dragging your feet? Well back in 1984 I discovered if I try and guess how many steps away home was then counted my steps to see how accurate I had been the journey goes much quicker. 25 years later I still use it.
7) Forget about hangovers – We’ve all done it I’m sure. You’re are on your second bottle of rosé and, although you know you are several sheets to the wind you also feel witty, eloquent and are seized with the absolute certainty that you won’t be hung over tomorrow.
You don’t know how you know it, all you know is this time it’ll be ok. Fast forward 12 hours and you’ve sweat pulsing out of every pore, your brain feels like a boulder rattling around a storm-buffed galleon and every time someone says “you must remember when you…” you grab a pillow hold it over your ears and beg them to stop.
I’ve been getting drunk for longer than it is legal and you would have thought, by now I’d have learnt. I had a bit of a hiatus when we were actively trying to get pregnant. I didn’t give up totally but I embraced a modicum of sobriety. But I am sorry to say that six months of coil enforced barreness and I’ve crashed off that wagon several times. And yes, I still believe I might just escape a hangover. And yes, I am still proved to be catastrophically wrong the morning after. On the plus side though, of late I’ve only ever woken to find my husband in bed beside me.
8) Have a shy bladder - I am not one of those women who need a cohort of 3 other girls every time they go to the toilet in a bar. If there is anyone in the next door cubical to me, I cannot go. If I think someone is waiting for me to come out of the toilet, I cannot go. If someone tries to chat whilst I am going about my business my bladder actually ties itself in knots. It is only through intensive training over the last couple of years that I have been able to pee into a cup for the various nurses who just want to double check that I am not pregnant.
9) Separate out chocolate bars - Do you know Twix bars? Chocolate , caramel, biscuit. I eat the chocolate from the sides, then the caramel from the top and finally the biscuit. Boost Bars? The chocolate/caramel exterior before tackling the nougat centre. Cream eggs? With a tongue movement that has made grown men weep I take out the centre before eating the chocolate. I don't even notice I am doing this until I realise people staring aghast at my treat-eating etiquette.
10) Sit at the front of buses - Best seat in the house top left of a double decker. And yeah, if I have to kick small children out of the way to secure it, well that's life. What do you mean do I pretend I'm driving? Well, duh!
Turns out the only thing I grow out of is my clothes.
So I've bared my soul what about you? What do you still do that you thought you'd grow out of?
19 comments:
You are not alone...I still do at least 1/2 of those things on your list.
Others?
Though I've thrown out the stuffed animals, I still 'hug' a pillow at night. (don't tell).
I absolutely hate calling to order things on the phone (pizza or products doesn't matter). I dial and hang up at least once before actually calling. I don't know what this is all about and I'm embarrassed to admit it.
Keep my secret, please.
:-)
I still don't step on sidewalk cracks. You might "break your mother's back". And sometimes I leap out of bed because I'm afraid someone is under the bed and will grab my ankles.
I still follow all but 1 of the above - number 8 - when I have to go I have to go!
The most important one is number 1 itself. I cannot look in mirrors at night. I saw a programme on the beeb yonks ago that involved a woman irroning and there was a mirror on the wall. One minute she's happily doing her chore then she leans to grab another item only for the camera to return to the same shot and there's a woman behind her.. she was dead. It spooked the F*** out of me and from that moment on I follow this ritual. I turn away as I walk past a mirror when it's dark outside!
Nice to know I'm not alone in the freakishness!
I'm 34 and have a 'blankie'. Yup, I'm truly a lunatic. For the last 10 years I've had this super soft, worn out blanket that I always have over me on the couch or I cuddle up with it at night. Only my husband knows about it and he keeps asking, "when we have kids and they have their own blankies can we throw away yours?"
Great post. I think I will share mine later, I am well overdue to do a post on 10 things about myself that I was tagged too ages ago.
I'd have to think about what things I still do. I know that I'm sort of like you in the candy thing. I will eat peanut butter cups by eating all the chocolate off. Hohos have the outer chocolate eaten first, then I unroll them. Ice cream bars too, outer chocolate off first. It's only on somethings though, not all.
Mirror thing...check.
Music while cleaning thing....check.
Popping zits thing....check.
Shy bladder...check.
Count steps.....check.E
Eating candy bars by laer thing...check.
Also...not stepping on cracks, biting my finger nails....
The mirror thing? Totally.
But I heard it was the devil would be standing behind you.
Phone thing is weird, I always have the urge to call back and confirm whatever it is I have arranged.
The chocolate bar thing, I still do that.
This is scary.
Aside from the phone thing ... it seems that we were separated at birth.
I *do* every other thing on your list.
...acatully I do teh phone thing too to some extent - I always prefer e-mailing work people as I really hate phoning them. (I do like to chat with my friends though).
...sorry - I've apparently lost the power to spell. ...sigh ...
We got the front seat at the top of the bus on the way back to the hotel after our wedding. In my wedding dress, natch.
I also don't like looking in mirrors at night and my phone phobia is bad, I never call friends now (I know, terrible friend but it is so much easier with email and text). I also have adult acne which is a pain in the arse because I didn't have it as a teenager!
The main thing that I did when I was younger and still do now is twiddle my hair - I really thought that I would grow out of it but I still HAVE to do it. At least I have stopped pulling it out which is what I used to do whilst twiddling it when I was younger. I'm sure there are many others but I just can't think at the mo (it's nearly home time!)
I still don't like any of my foods to touch each other.
I eat AROUND my sandwiches and hamburgers... saving the middle for last.
And I also seriously hate talking on the phone.
Murgdan, your secret is safe with me (and the world wide internet dot com).
Oh yeah, I have the bed thing too Megan
Thanks Carolyne, you've just made my mirror phobia 10 times worse.
So do you think you will be able to give up your blankie, Mary?
I'll keep an eye out for it PiB
See Batty, when you start to think about it there are loads of things!
Amber, Thank you, I'm starting to feel more normal!
Kelley, I don't want to see if it a ghost or the devil.
And the make-up like you're on telly Xbox? Come on, fess up!
Corymbia, I already have a twin so maybe you're the triplet. (And the spelling thing I thought it was some cool internet 'teh' thang).
Me too, Dr Spouse, although we hired a London bus to take us from the wedding to the reception and I made sure no one else got the best seat.
Secret D, did you chew your hair too? If mine wasn't short I'm sure I would have gone down that route.
Chelsea, always save the meat until last - obviously!
I thought I was the only freak who did this chocolate bar thing! And Twix happens to be my favourite. My wife won't even look at me when I'm eating one now! Great post
I am so glad that I am not alone out there. I have never been brave enough to admit to these but I do almost all of them as well.
I also have a fear of taking a shower if I am at home alone. My husband laughs at me but I will get up an hour or two early and take a shower while he is home and then go back to bed until I need to get up. I am always afraid that someone will break into the house and come after me.
Phone, spots, cracks in pavement, bladder and chocolate bars. Check! I'm sure I have more that I can't remember, too.
Well as you know I'm a 40 year old accountant, but I have to admit that I still have the teddy bear that Santa brought me when I was two years old. Needless to say he's a threadbare geriatric bear now, but he saw me through some hard times :)
The mirror thing - didn't suffer from that before, but having read this post I will be going to the loo in the dark from now on!
The spots - up until recently I used to get horrendous zits, which really pissed me off as I thought there would be a time in my life in between the zits going and the wrinkles beginning, but that clearly wasn't the case with me. I could never resit a good squeeze at a big juicy one. Gross I know. Somehow my skin has cleared up amazingly in the past year. I don't know if it's all the P&G skincare products I'm using, or the knock on effect of the meds on my hormone levels a my skin. Either way, I'm not complaining.
Oh and the bus thing? Totally with you on that. I have even been known to give a little rendition of The Wheels on the Bus while driving the bus. Obviously drunk driving the bus :)
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