I wish I could show you the power point document that the senior manager delivered but a) I like you too much to enforce a document that turgid on you and b) it would probably be stretching the bounds of my professionalism just a little further than necessary.
The highlights were:
Environmental Changes Affecting Strategy (yes, we are all about the catchy heading here) we had amongst others:
- The Recession
- Local and National Government Changes
- University Enterprise and Research Strategies
And my personal favourite:
- Maternity leave of 2 key staff members
How we laughed at that one. The banter around the table was that contraception should be mandatory. Wondering whether Human Resources would endorse compulsory sterilisation. And apparently no one else is 'allowed' to go on maternity leave. Much, much, fucking hilarity.
We ended the meeting with a request that we forward plan. We need to send our department head a sentence saying where we would like to be by 2012.
I’m not sure ‘at home with at least two children sitting on a healthy redundancy package’ would be acceptable. Which is only slightly more realistic than ‘representing Great Britain at long distance running at the Olympics’. Unfortunately I think she wants something along the lines of ‘increasing turnover with new products and blah, blah, blah’.
I love my job, I really do. And my colleagues (my completely unaware colleagues) are great. But sometimes ...