Sunday, 3 May 2009


I thought that might get your attention.

Sex has become a contentious issue. And one that we are all talking about.

Bottoms Off And on the Table
recently bemoaned her failing sex drive and the comments show she isn't alone.

One of my first posts was about the pressure we (or rather he) is under to perform like Ron Jeremy, for a few days each month. Whether he feels like it or not.

But now I find a couple of days a month just isn't enough.

A book I am reading at the moment says:

"Couples not using contraception have, on average, about an 18% chance of conceiving normally ... Couples having sex more than twenty times a month have around a 35% chance."

(A Child Against All Odds, Robert Winston, 2007, my review here).

I know that at the moment the issue of whether we do, or don't have sex is immaterial given that I still have three months of the coil to go, but back in the day when I hoped for conception the traditional way, and as soon as possible, I figured out a way to develop an olofactory on-switch for the husband.

For further details read my Fertility Authority post - The Sweet Smell Of Success ...


  1. 20 times! Who can really manage that?!?!? Its hard eneough with work and a semi normal life to fit it in for the few days we should def be doing it!! I think realistically that is way too much. The man does need some time for his sperm to regenerate!

  2. Enjoyed your post on FA. Don't think I can manage the 20 times... 4 or 5 well timed sessions are stressful enough. I sure hope someone shares an idea for getting him in the mood without his suspecting the baby-making angle...

  3. My sex-drive is the one part of my girl-parts that still works brilliantly. My husband finds it almost... intimidating. Somehow, this does not lead to him feeling amorous. Harrumph.

    The problem is, like a bloke, I find sex comforting and stress-relieving, so I pretty much get hornier when the going gets rough. I am well aware this makes me abnormal and a freak. I have been told so enough times. And I have NO IDEA how to develop an on-switch for H. I just chase him round the kitchen like Sid James. Joke. Or is it? Heh heh heh.

  4. Twenty times a month? Maybe the first month we were together, but after that? May just started and I'm already behind.

  5. Hmm...well ladies I can tell you that we do it more than 20 times a month (don't judge :)) and we still aren't pregnant so a lot of good it does us.... :(

    I know you don't want to hear this, but if you get into an every-other-day mode, then your dear husband doesn't have to even know when you are or are not ovulating. :)

  6. Nic, if you scroll down the comment apparently some people can manage it, but I am with you on this!

    Thanks Chelsea, its not normal a problem - just at crucial moments.

    Nuts, Yak, Yak, Yak, Yak. What a carry on!

    Bottoms Off, You need to get those bottoms off.

    *TTC*Chick*, I do judge and I am mightily impressed, but even every other day is 'only' 15 times a month. I feel faint just thinking about it.

  7. Hard to say really...I think we stopped feeling the pressure once the fertility treatments began and we could just have sex for the fun of it instead of waiting for the fertile window...Once you get into IUI's and IVF's screw the fertile window..literally.

  8. Well, we have definitely hit 20 times a month on occasion, but not every time, no way.

    We had our dodgy 'oh god do we have to' stage about 18 months ago, but since then it's been pretty good, and even though we know it's futile we like to keep giving it a good old shot just to give us the feeling of doing something.

    Denial ain't so bad...

  9. I've actually been relieved now that we are doing IUI and don't 'have' to do it anymore. I think it's been really good for our relationship now that we can acutally do it just for the sake of 'doing it':) And wanting too! But, DH is a little sad that our baby won't be concieved the 'normal' way.

  10. shh dont show my husband this, 20 times? FUck ow

  11. Leo, I know what you mean, being on the coil means that the husband doesn't automatically suspect an ulterior motive when I get amorous.

    Xbox, Boasty!

    Mary, in the long term how the baby is conceive won't matter a bit.

    PiB, yup, friction burns!

  12. wow... glad to know that I am not the only one who finds 20x per month a bit intimidating! Nice to have a goal though?

  13. Not being boasty, I'm as surprised as anyone.


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