Tuesday, 21 April 2009

My family is growing

I mentioned a while ago that I have a few godchildren - three to date.

On Saturday I received an email from one of my closest, most long-standing friends, who lives in a different town so we don't see each other as much as I'd like.

She asked me to be godmother to her son, ODV.

This is how she started the email:

"I've been meaning to phone you about this for quite a while but keep wimping out. I was wondering if you would be willing to be O's god mother? I know you probably need it like a hole in the head at the moment and the thought of having to buy baby gifts and coo over someone elses baby is the last thing you fancy but in the longer term I'd really like him to have you."

This is a life time commitment and one that I'm sure she hasn't chosen lightly. To say I am flattered is an understatement. And, of course, I said yes immediately.

I love the way she is thinking of the longer term she knows I'll have children one day, and doesn't want the fact that this year, next year, the year after (please no!) might be difficult to prevent me being his godmother for ever.

But what this email did was made me really proud of my friends. I've read on so many different blogs about people whose friendships have been severely strained by having to commiserate about pregnancy symptoms or forced to go to the baby showers (shudder) of casual acquaintances.

In contrast, the support of my child-bearing friends has been brilliant. They know what I am missing out on and don't try and make me feel better by telling me how lucky I am to be able to go out when I want and how I should appreciate lie-ins. But neither do they exclude me and avoid mentioning the word baby just in case I can't cope.

I just wonder if they realise that should the worst happen, and I don't have children, they are condemning their kids - my god children - to looking after me in my dotage.

That, and I'm rubbish at choosing presents for children between the ages of 8 and 16.


10 comments:

  1. You are lucky to have such sensitive friends. Congrats on your new godchild!

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  2. What sweet and caring friends to have in your life! Congrats on the new godchild.

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  3. Awww thats nice news. Other half and I were asked to be our nieces godparents last night. So privelaged to be asked !. xx xx

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  4. That is really wonderful! Congrats! I'm not even a godparent to either one of my nephews. :(

    Think about it this way, if you have that many godchildren, they can share the responsibility of caring for you in your dotage. ;-) And from 8-16, you just give them money. haha.

    Sorry the coaster made you sick. ;-)

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  5. This touches on an aspect of all this I never really got.

    I don't hate people with families, and they shouldn't have to tip-toe around us, they should be allowed celebrate their good fortune and not have to worry about this fool.

    It sounds like a great healthy relationship you have there. Keep it.

    Nice one.

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  6. Wish I had friends like yours! As for the presents, money works ALL the time ;-)

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  7. Cheers, Bottoms Off
    :12
    Lost in Space, sometimes I don't kmnow what I would do without them!

    It feels good doesn't it Bubba?

    The thing is Barb, I always think making aunts and uncles Godparents isn't fair on the kid because they give you presents anyway. (Guess whoes uncle is their god father?)

    Xbox, I think some people have had to put up with incredibly insensitive comments from friend. But no, you can't hate people just for having kids as other people fertility doesn't impact on yours but it also depends on how they handle it.

    But, Mick, I like money too.

    She does Corymbia, she does

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  8. That is so beautiful I feel all sniffly.

    Also, I love chosing presents for kids between 8 and 16. Ask me. Ask me. Let me mess with their heads...

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  9. I love this story - your friend sounds like an amazing person. I don't have kids due to medical infertility (no healthy eggs left) and I am godmother to my niece. I dote on her like crazy. I figure if I spoil her now she might be kind to her crazy godmother in her old age.

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