Best, because they have a clear blue clarity that could turn the Adriatic green with envy. (If not Ol' Blue Eyes himself).
Worst, because they are broken. They are not fit for purpose. Since I was 11 I have worn ever-increasing-in-strength glasses then contact lenses. Do you get it? I am really, really short sighted.
On Saturday I went to have a consultation with a view to getting eye surgery. The sales technique was truly awesome. There are a couple of different types which, from what she said, might as well be the difference between getting a chisel and mallet and cracking open the front of my eye or having a cool breeze, generated by the flapping of an angel's wing, skim my eye balls to fix my sight. Is there really any choice? I'll happily pay the premium, in a way I won't for branded rather than supermarket-own toilet paper.
So now the decision, do I do it? Should I have the operation to correct my vision?
I always find the best way to make this kind of decision is to weigh up the pros and cons:
Pros of wearing glasses
- Makes me look clever (I always wear them when I going for an interview)
- Enables me to see
- Can be fashionable (depending on what Prada are doing that season – unfortunately these are a full-time wear regardless of trends)
- You don’t hit a girl wearing glasses.
Cons of wearing glasses
- I can’t wear them out when it is raining as they get covered in water
- I can’t wear them out when it is sunny as it stops me wearing sunglasses
- I can’t wear them out when it is too cold as the moment I walk back into the warm they steam up
- I can’t look into the oven without them steaming up
- Guys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses (this certainly proved true during my early teenage years - although in retrospect my boy's haircut, complete lack of self-confidence and acne may also have contributed. Things certainly changed when I got contacts, grew my hair, took medication to help my skin and learnt that boys, like rats, are far more scared of you that you are of them)
- They smear really easily so you constantly have to clean them
- I can't see well enough to put eye-make up on with wearing my glasses (which puts a physical barrier in the way of the aforementioned activity) or putting contacts in which defeats the point of wearing glasses
- They are incredibly expensive to replace (my last pair with lenses cost £900).
- I look like you don't wear glasses
- Means I can cut onions without them making me cry
- Enables me to see.
- They can be painful to put in - especially if you put them in early in the morning
- I'm not supposed to wear them for more that 8 hours a day
- I'm not supposed to sleep in them (not even an afternoon nap)
- I'm not suppose to wear them on the beach
- I'm not supposed to wear them whilst swimming
- They can rip in half in my eye and get lost somewhere in the socket (this happened to me last week - 3 days before the other half worked its way out - a key catalyst for Saturday's appointment)
- If one falls out I'm stuck until I can find a spare
- Ecologically unsound - I use daily disposables - think of the waste with all that packaging.
- I won't need to wear glasses or contacts lenses
- I'll be able to shave my legs in the shower with out first putting my lenses in
- I will be able to see the clock at night
- I won't have to pat the surface of my side table every morning to enable me to locate my specs
- I won't have to ask the husband to locate my glasses for me when I know they are here somewhere but I simply cannot see/ pat them
- I will be able to apply eye make up whenever I fancy (apart from after the first week of the surgery)
- I won't have to check the weather to determine which facial apparatus I can wear
- I get £500 off this treatment because I have been referred by a friend - who thinks it has revolutionised her life
- I can spread the payments out over several years (i.e. the rest of my days on this mortal coil)
- I can leave behind the memory of my childhood nickname - Everest - not coined in homage of the years I spent living in Nepal but a reference to a double glazing firm advertising heavily of telly in the mid 80's and accompanied by the trade mark tap on glasses
- I'll be able to see from the second I wake up - all by myself.
- It might not work
- It might make my sight worse
- It costs only slightly less than a small Hebridean island
- I'm scared.
So, on balance, I think I shall go for it. Have any of you had it? Any comforting tales of success you'd like to share?