Sunday, 8 March 2009

Preparation for a friend's wedding


Saturday - Go shopping for dress. Get pissed off. Can't find anything I like. Get hot and sweaty in changing rooms, get blown about and rained on in the street. Give up. Decide I have a perfectly good dress at home, just need a few accessories.

Sunday - Choose accessories. Don't like anything I own. Find hat, goes with coat not with dress. Tear trimming off hat. Decide to retrim hat. Have nothing to retrim it with.

Monday - Dye hair. Spend as much time cleaning hair dye of bathroom surfaces as getting it in hair.

Tuesday - Leg wax & eye brow threading. World of pain. Wonder when I decided this was a good idea.

Wednesday - Try to retrim hat. Feel uninspired. Shout at husband - because he is there.

Thursday - Find shoes online that I think are really quite ugly, but for some inexplicable reason I HAVE to have them. They would be fantastic with my dress. Go to shop, they aren't in stock, get them to ring next shop, they aren't in stock, get them to ring next shop, they can't get through. Figure, the other store is the flagship store, bound to have shoes in stock. Cross London, discover they don't. What they do have is thousands of teenage girls doing Thursday late night shopping. Get angry. Go home empty handed.

Decide I have perfectly good shoes at home.

Friday - Exfoliate. Fake tan.

Saturday - Look in mirror.


Spend 27 mins scrubbing tangerine-coloured skin with a nail brush. This is true exfoliation.

Wash hair, intensive moisturise conditioner, moisterise, apply make-up, paint toe-nails, scrub palms again. Remember alcohol wipes are supposed to be good for removing stubborn stains.

Vodka on cotton wool doesn't have the same affect.

Write card. Charge camera battery. Get dressed.

Look at legs.

Get undressed.

Sit on edge of bath. One final scrub of legs.

Get dressed.

Good to go.

The husband's preparation:

Saturday (15 minutes before due to leave) - Pulls out same outfit he wore to our wedding two and a half years ago. The only things that have been washed since are his shirt and socks. (And for those of you wondering if I have missed another oft washed item I haven't - it is a kilt and he is a true Scot).


Gets dressed.

Good to go.


  1. That can just make your blood boil, can't it? Guys have it so easy.

  2. God, yes, that's me alright.

    A proper kilt wearer, hmmm? Am dying to make my Macdonalds quarter-pounder joke, but shall nobly restrain myself.

    Ummmm. Didn't do so good there, did I?!

  3. you know, that sounds like how we got ready for our own wedding.

  4. just without me in a skirt, of course.

    At the start of the day at least.

  5. What a week. And I'm laughing at the whole kilt thing. Every time I think of kilts I think of all the funny pics of people looking up them.

  6. ooofa, I could never do takes entirely to long compared to the super fast rrrrrrriiiiiiiiipppp of hot wax.

  7. All that and you have to wear a hat too???

  8. It so unfair. But hey, you'll look great! Good luck with the waxing & threading. Ouch.

  9. Hey - I've seen part of your face and one of your eyes in a pic you used to have lying around here somewhere.
    .... AND SO I KNOW the TRUTH:

    You are gorgeous!
    I'm sure you looked amazing.

  10. Yep, sounds familiar. Except for the kilt of course :)

  11. Either that Mary, or I make things way too hard.

    HFF, At least you tried to to restrain yourself - its the thought that counts!

    Xbox, it is a malaise that is rife amongst males worldwide.

    battynurse, I think this was the first wedding he has been too when he didn't get pestered to lift his skirt.

    Sarah, but threading is supposed to follow the contours of your face - and I'm a sucker for that sort of thing.

    Megan, I love wearing hats - they are my thing.

    Lea, it is all done, no pain no gain etc.

    Amanda, you are so right. I looked incredible (and no one here will ever be able to refute that!)

    Jane G, there is a move to introduce the Irish and Welsh kilts too - so never say never.

  12. Hilarious! Absolutely LOVED your post! Hats is not my thing..guess it comes with a wedding tradition we're not used to. However, preparation is the same in every country for every girl :-p

  13. oooh Scots! You know we American girls are intrigued right?

    And your outfit looks so British from the photo. Too cute.

  14. Helping a fried for his/her wedding preparation is fun especially if it's your closed friend.

    English bone China


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