I have, at last, finished my course work for this bloody management course. Which has consisted of a large number of hours sitting in front of a computer ostensibly writing my essays but in reality spending my time considering how to push the box and think outside the envelope.
So what have I learnt?
Apparently nothing is impossible - in fact even the word should really be read I'm possible - do you see what they did there? Sigh.
I have decided, therefore, to apply the tools and techniques of management to Project Procreate.
An old favourite is SMART. Before starting a project you must ensure that your plan is: Specific, Measurable, Appropriate, Realistic, Time-bound.
Specific - This bit is easy, specifically I am looking for a child out of this project. I could go two, but one will do just now.
Measurable - this one isn't a problem either. He/ she/ they can be measured not only by their presence in the cot but also weight, height, number of digits, I might even start to understand this whole percentile thing.
Appropriate - but of course, it is quite appropriate. We even waited until after we go married before we started trying (for no moral reasons, just happenstance).
Realistic - Ahh, this is where it starts to get sticky. Well, it isn't unrealistic, looking increasingly unlikely but I'm not a man, or a post-menopausal woman... wait a moment even that doesn't stop some people (exhibit a and b).
Time-bound - what the fuck? Every time I try to put a deadline on this or think this time next year I will definitely be either a mother or pregnant I fail. Ok, Ok this isn't working for me.
If a task is proving difficult to schedule a helpful technique is to draw a Gantt Chart. This will enable one to see at a glance the key stages of delivery and enable one to ascertain in which order activities should be undertaken in order to reach the deadline.
Uh-hu, sounds good here you are:
It's is a bit difficult to read, and I haven't figured tables in blogspot, but the different elements are, from the top:
Coil (clear womb)
You know when I see it laid out like that it is so simple. A mere fifteen months and I could squeeze one out before my thirty fourth birthday (just).
I don't know what I've been worrying about.
And finally - in true management cliched style - I've made up a wee motivational mantra for you. When infertility is straining your relationship and causing you to hurt one another remember:
There is no 'i' in fetus - but there is an 'us'.
No, no, you don't have to thank me.