Sorry. I know you are pissed off that I have been hanging out with Vera and haven't let you come out for ages. Please don't take it personally I haven't seen her for two weeks now, it is you I want.
I know this is pay back. Contrary to popular belief I'm not stupid.
I see your game. I know you are waiting for me to get an attack of the Liz Hurley's and start donning white jeans (with out knickers of course - can't go having a visible pantie line).
I appreciate you want to see me skipping gaily out of the house without a tampon or sanitary towel anywhere about my person before you put in an appearance.
It is clear you are rubbing your hands with glee at the prospect of me finding myself in a meeting where I have no opportunity to leave the room, before you allow me to feel a heart-stopping drip, drip, trickle in my nether regions.
But get over it, I've said I'm sorry. Don't make me come in there and drag you out myself (my arms aren't that long).
Hope to see you soon.
Womb for Improvement
P.S. If it is any consolation you ARE driving me crazy, look you've got me writing correspondence to my menstrual flow. Bloody bitch.