Wednesday, 3 December 2008

Theory of Relativity

My big sister had a second baby last week. Another little boy (you remember the other one?).

I've taken a while to blog about it, mainly because I wasn't really sure what to say.

I know most of you guys aren't going to be interested in yet another baby when, mostly, we are all still trying to have our first. But we all have to cope with friends, workmates, people in the street, Hayley from the Archers giving birth. So we have to deal with it.

How do I feel? Well, delighted that you asked for a start. But actually, fine. No better than fine. Really good, really happy for her.

Why don't I feel too jealous? For some of the same reasons as I gave before. But also a few others.

Allow me to theorise.

Whatever we reasons we give for wanting a baby part of it has to be, subconciously or not, that whole wanting to pass on our genes thing (note, that's with a g not j). And this inante desire is being fulfilled by my sister. We share no physical characteristics, and have very disimilar personalities (though we aren't quite the polar opposites that my twin and I are). But somewhere, deep down, we share the odd chromosomes. So even if I fail to have progeny a bit of me'll live on in my wee nephews. So maybes that's why I don't feel jealous.

Another reason could be that when I first met him, at less than 24 hours old, he had his nappy changed. This kid had had nothing but a few fluid ounces of breast milk but the stuff that came out of his arse. Gah! It was like he'd been dipped in a peat bog. There was black viscose stuff covering him from the waist (waste) down. Apparently its meconium. If you really want to know more go here. BUT I warn you, it ain't pretty and may well make you ask yourself what the hell you were thinking and cause you to slap the condoms back on.

And finally. Well, he just looks so like my brother-in-law. Thus, in order to have that little person, I'd have to have slept with that big person. No, no, no. I am willing to make sacrifices but oof, there has to be a line.


  1. AND...I find that nicking your own family's babies gets you caught really fast.

  2. Oh, and of course, congratulations.

  3. Congrats to your sister! I'm glad you are able to be happy for her. It's no fun the other way.

  4. Congratters on being double-Aunted.

    (I am six-times an Aunt, and my oldest NIECE has a baby of her own, making me a great-Aunt. My family is disgustingy fertile and my genetic material is scattered all over Blighty, hur hur).

    I adore my youngest niece, the one I see most of, and she does make me feel thwartedly maternal, but you are right, to have her, i'd have had to sleep with Brother-In-Law oh damn I'm going to have to spend the day scrubbing the inside of my head out with bleach for just formulating the thought...

  5. I completely understand. :)

  6. Bwaaaaa haaa haaaaaa at the black stuff.

    That shit is nasty. Literally.

    Congrats on being an Auntie again.

  7. Once again, too funny!!

    I don't have any nieces or nephews, so I've not had the pleasure of that experience, but I don't think I would be jealous either. Especially after the baby poo incident. Enjoy the new addition and the good news is you can hand him over to his momma when the poo hits.

  8. Yeah, Xbox, They might notice.

    Thanks, Lea, I'll pass them on.

    Nuts, I feel soiled.

    Cheers Barb.

    Kelley, nasty, nasty shite.

    Cheers Deborah, yes I won't be volunteering for nappy duty.


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