Friday, 5 December 2008

Text Book Pregnancy

There aren't a finite amount of pregnant women in the world.

I doubt there is some scroll-clutching deity sat on a cloud (though if there were it'd probably be wearing a shiny black jacket, puffy, and with an orange lining), "We're operating a one in one out policy. Right, I know that we've had a birth in Cambridge in October and another in London in November so I've got space for two of you. Go implant".

But say it was. You'd think there would be some kind of queuing system. So that the ones who have been waiting longest are at the front, waiting their turn. We Brits are usually quite good at that.

So you'll excuse me if I had a bit of a cry last night when I discovered I'd been queue jumped.


The husband went out with the boys. Remember this wedding? Yup? In August. That'll be August two thousand and eight. This year. Approximately 3 months ago - give or take a couple of weeks, or as we say in the UK a fortnight.

So she is now teetering on the edge of her 12 week scan. They've done the maths (math for my north American amigos), 11 days. That's how long it took post-wedding. Eleven fucking days (I suspect quite literally they were fucking days). Knocked up before the honeymoon was over.

I refer to my previous post about how I can deal with my mates kids (see exhibit a). But I still need a moment to get over it before I can settle into present-buying, baby-talking glee. Give me a moment.

11 days.

That's 264 hours...

It's text book, that is what is supposed to happen. But, after two years of us trying I find it hard to get my head round the fact that for some people it really is as simple as all that.

And I will be happy for them, delighted in fact.



  1. Argh honeymoon babies how unfair is that?

    You do deal with things well tho, I would be delighted say-never. Some form of slight acceptance is all I can manage these days.

    Don't end up like me, all bitter on the inside permantly!

  2. The thing is PiB, they are good mates so of course I'll be happy. But it might have been a different story if I really thought them being pregnant had any real and tangible impact on my own fertility.

  3. I'm sorry it has to be this way. I think you handle it quite well though. It takes me more than a day. Sometimes a lot more. I hope it's your turn soon.

  4. Fuck that is harsh.

    I think I'd struggle with that one.

  5. Bitch, bitch, bitch. I do hope she's not one to whinge about being up at night or having back pain. I do hope she appreciates it.

  6. Yeah. Like my uncle who knocked up his fiance the first time they went away on holiday together to DISCUSS starting a family. Hah. Short discussion, then. Like my other uncle who dumped his wife and daughters to run away with a girl twenty (yes, twenty) years younger than himself, got married the day after the divorce came through, pregnancy announcement 12 weeks after that, we worked out he must have knocked her up on the bloody wedding night. I have a friend who got knocked up within months of her wedding, had baby, and then after a few months decided she'd like a second, just not quite yet, one slightly drunken condom-neglect episode later, she's just about to have her second before her first is out of nappies, oops, hee hee hee, I just need to look at my husband etc.

    I am very happy for and about all the above babies, and so glad other couples I care about aren't going through this, but MAN it stings when you first hear the news. And makes me feel incredibly lonely.

  7. Thanks Lea,it will be soon (although soon is relative so who really knows).

    Xbox, its a bit of a kick in the guts (womb) but deal with it we have to.

    Catalizadora, Thanks for stopping by, its always good to see new commentors. BUT, I am going to have to put my foot down on this one. She's not a bitch. Not at all, all she has done is exactly what I would have liked to have done myself. And when he was told the husband told her husband (for the first time) the difficulties we have been having so no I'm pretty sure she won't whinge. Knowing her she'll just feel incredibly guilty and I don't want that. This is my problem, not hers.

    Nuts, What's going on with you uncles?! I think lonely is a very good description of how I feel (with a pinch of 'why me' thrown in). But that is why we blog, to know that we aren't the only ones in the world who can't do something so simple as procreate.

  8. I know and I didn't mean it that way. I'm getting bitter and I'm going to start working on it...

  9. Eloquently put Murgdan.

    Of course Catalizadora, if you meant life is a bitch, I'm absolutely with you all the way.

  10. (hugs) ...I won't remind you it took us a l o n g time and I had just about given up hope.

    I love how you cans till keep your sense of humour ...and the opening.You are such a clever and witty wordsmith.

    It is a harsh reality and it isn't fair.I feel for you. You are happy for them but at same time it reminds you all you don't have.

    My best friends' from school kids are almost all over 18 and finished school, mine are 2.

  11. Cheers Trish, I know it finding people like you that reminds me I have a long way to go before I even think about giving up.

  12. Fuck it! There really is no getting away from how lucky some people are when it comes to fertility.

  13. Fair play to you, you're a better person than me. I would just stew in jealousy if a close friend of mine got pregnant on honeymoon. I admire your attitude.

  14. Hey Secret D, In the words of those great poets Stock, Aitken and Waterman - I should be so lucky.

    Jane, Clearly I'm a better person glad its been acknowledged at last! No. I think I would feel pretty differently if I had miscarried like you. Lets see how bitter I am next year...

  15. I can understand you so well! I've been going through the same stuff. We came back from our friends wedding just two months ago, and they had told us that they were not ready to start a family yet, but maybe in the future... Well, guess what? Another 'wooops, we are pregnant!' baby. 8 weeks along. And my cousin, who's baby's due date was 1/2 week after mine (which ended in my first miscarriage) just had his baby girl. I'm so happy for them all (and my sister and my other cousin who are all pregnant and doing great, fortunately), but after 2 unexplained miscarriages, when everybody else around me is pregnant or having babies, it is hard to not think 'why me?!'
    OK, done venting. Now, let's think positive :)

  16. Thanks for your comments Gaby. I think its worse if you've been told they are going to wait that way you can't even prepare yourself so it is a real kick int he guts out of nowhere.


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