Saturday, 29 November 2008

Zinc or Swim

The title of this post should really have been Zinc or No Swimmers, but Zinc or Swim scanned so much better. And I'm all about the scanning (no, even I can't make a double entendre out of that).

I love the internet. I love the fact that I have a vague query, I put it out there and - lo - I get the answer. I love you.

What I got back from "how do I make sure the husband fulfills his side of the procreation sandwich" was zinc, vitamin C, zinc, no caffeine, zinc, vitamin E, don't smoke, and make sure he ingests that zinc.

Oh, the husband is going to be delighted with the lot of you.

You all know he use to smoke, but he kicked that to the curb a year and a half ago (one nil to the smoking ban, come on the nanny state). So guess what I am going to be concentrating on?

I figure I have a couple of options. One, buy some zinc supplements, leave them in the kitchen. Pester the husband to take them and get shouty when I realise he keeps forgetting to do so.

But for the sake of our marriage I'm not going to go down this route.

Instead, I plan on becoming a feeder.

I found a list of zinc sources. Yes, all by myself, see I can do my own googling when required.

And I'm liking what I see.

There are, of course somethings that can be immediately discounted:
  • Oysters - but they are alive. And don't give me that aphrodisiac shite, slurping living snot-textured salty globules does not make me horny (why does that sound eerily similar to the answer I give when a blow job is requested?)
  • Walnuts - just too bitter, I like the idea, especially at Christmas but they are always a disappointment
  • Lobster - I'm not spending my acupuncture money on them, much as I'd love to
  • Bran Flakes/ Shreddies - the husband is petrified of milk, which makes breakfast cereals quite hard, dry and inedible. And when I say he is petrified, the site of a milk moustache has him gagging. (For me a hair moustache has the same effect)
  • Baked Beans - hey, I have to live with the guy and part of the marriage vows was that I couldn't kick him out of bed for farting.
But that still leaves me with quite a bit to play with.

I'm thinking for lunch, slather wholemeal pitta pockets with humus, and fill it with strips of tasty beef, topped off with a sprinkling of sesame seeds.

For tea, I could do brown pasta with tinned crab meat, bit of garlic, lemon juice, chilli and parsley to notch up the flavour.

So that's one day's worth, it might get a bit tedious on a daily basis though. Will have to do a bit more research.

Look at that, almost one of Barb's Fun Food Fridays.


  1. Zinc suppositories...

    We have them in a tube here to smear on your face. Just the right shape to slip in when he isn't looking...


  2. Funny. Oysters....

    The studies I read about regarding guys exposed to a lot of smoke were given quite high doses of Vit C, I don't think you'd get that much into him without supplements unless you gave him a lemon colonic irrigation.

    The study results for count were impressive.

    Zinc I think you can manage with diet, but I say stick a bottle of 15mg by the sink and he can pop one when he brushes his teeth.

    ET fancied being a feeder, but that was quickly forgotten about when we realised she'd have to become a cooker first.

  3. Ok so now I know I am so not going there with my man, he wouldnt eat anything mentioned xcept the beans or milk, and the milk by itself doesnt count

  4. Oh Kelley. If only he didn't have the hetrosexual man's fear of anything getting too close to his anus I could have pretended it was a lubricant ...

    X, I refer you to the comment above about the man's protectivnes of his rusty sheriff's badge, there isn't going to be any lemon colonics.

    PiB, Beans on toast, beans and baked potatoes, sausage and beans ... so many options.

  5. Maybe you could just make it easy on yourself and crush the zinc tablets into his food. I also liked the zinc suppositories! :)

  6. Hurray! That's awesome! Too bad I didn't do one this week... :( I'll put you on the list for next time.

    LOVED the BJ comment. hehehe

  7. Lea, the crushing option maywell be the way to go although the last lot of tablets I bought were orange flavour. Duck l'orange anyone?

    Barb, thought you'd appreciate a FFF post.

  8. What is it with men? What is so darn hard about swallowing a pill every morning? I mean really? Grr.

    I bought H a bottle of flaxseed capsules and I told him I expected him to take them and I gave him the Official Hard Stare and he meekly took them like a lamb. Either H is very biddable or I am terrifying beyond all reason.

  9. Sorry, no better advice for you.

    I'm still laughing at the Oysters/BJ comparison :)


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