Wednesday, 12 November 2008

Failed


Jane G and I mutually agreed that, as a way to assure our continued good deeds at the gym / yoga, should either of us stray, we have to 'fess up.

So.

My name is Womb For Improvement. And tonight I didn't go to yoga. And next week I'm not going to either.

To be fair the class isn't great. I've done three out of the six weeks which is enough to figure out that it isn't going to get better.

Three weeks and not even a sniff of the downward dog. And if you think I am referring to some unholy practice that should be kept between the furkid and I you a) have a filthy mind and b) have never done yoga.

I mean, its the classic first stance. Every bloody yoga class does the downward dog as a matter of course.

But not my thigh-rubbing, chest-beating, groin-thrusting teacher.

But do you know what really put me off? She wants to talk. At the end of each class we sit round her cross-legged whilst she bestows on us a beatific smile and asks if we have any questions. We squirm whilst she stares at each one of us willing our eyes to meet hers. Eventually one unlucky bugger will be caught in the headlights and ask some inane question like:
"So, should we be breathing through our nose or mouth?"

Cue, 10 minutes of incomprehensible ramblings encompassing such gems of wisdom as "Opening up your groin will really help the nasal passages" and "when we were birds our wing span..."

So tonight I just couldn't be arsed. Besides I have packing to do. I'm off on holiday on Sunday for a week. I cannot wait. Sleep, food, wine and more sleep.

Now where is the list of what to pack?



9 comments:

  1. Hehehe, her open up the groin advice could so work as the dumbest TTC advice on the planet too! With my crappy joints and lack of grace/coordination I can't do yoga even if I wanted to, I am a water aerobics junky myself, lol.

    Have a great vacation =)

    Karen

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  2. Ahh womby well done lasting 3 sessions. I lasted one and watched a yogo dvd twice before loosing it(the dvd not my rag)

    Yea for us, I'm on holiday Sunday too for a bit over a week. We deserve it. I'll be sleeping and drinking too. Wa who

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  3. With comments like that (never mind the lack of downward dogs), I'm not surprised you're skipping classes!

    Have a wonderful holiday!

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  4. Sounds like a crappy class, so I'll forgive you! Not trying to make you feel guilty or anything, but I'm still going to the gym three times a week. My name is Jane and I am a smug bitch.

    Where you off to on holidays? Have a great time wherever you're going.

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  5. I don't blame you for not going. Hopefully you can find a different yoga place. Have fun on holiday!

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  6. More holidays?

    For crying out loud.

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  7. Microblogologist (that's some tongue twister of a name), I think I'll stick to Karen. I dunno opening up the groin might have some relevance to ttc, but breathing?!

    Pib, did you accidentally lose the DVD out of the window in one swift movement?

    Ms H, Thanks feel a bit less guilty now.

    Oh, cheers Jane, the guilt has returned. Damn you and your conscientious behaviour. Ok, a grudging, you win...

    Cheers, lea.

    One weekend! Xbox. A weekend, that wasn't a holiday. I didn't even take time off work so it doesn't even qualify as a mini-break. I haven't had a holiday since July. Look how on edge I am. Maybes skipping yoga wasn't such a good plan. Going to go breath.

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  8. I'm with you on the yoga thing. Tried it, hated it, won't be doing it again.

    Have a good holiday.

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  9. Sounds like she has missed her calling to be a sex therapist.

    Have a wonderful holiday!

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I've resisted word verification for ages but I'm getting so many spam comments at the moment that I think it is time. Sorry!