However I cannot help, from the minute I walked in their door, being on tender hooks. Alert, looking out for clues. As the groom pulled out a bottle of champagne from the fridge I held my breath.
What are they celebrating?
It is too early for an announcement surely?
How many glasses?
OK, so he is pouring his new wife a glass, and a proper glass not a thimble full for appearances sake.
There is no toast.
It is left over booze from the wedding.
Fine, good. All chink our glasses.
Pause. Watch. She takes a big slug.
No big announcement.
And relax.
She already has a four year old son from a previous relationship so she been proven to be fertile in the past. And, she has already told me she doesn't want too big and age gap, and I know her husband, he'd want to do things in the 'right' order hence the kinda quick marriage.
I would be delighted it they had kids, really pleased for them. Really. But not before me, surely that can't happen? Right?
What have I become that I a) have an incredibly sensitive prego-dar (I can spot a pregnancy announcement at least 10 minutes before it comes), and b) I have an order in my mind of people who are 'allowed' to get pregnant before me?
I think we all have a list in our heads of people who absolutely cannot under any circumstances get pregnant before us. And if you're anything like me, 2 out of 3 will...so far. You haven't become anything terrible or abnormal. You've just become tired and sad. I'm glad that announcement didn't come today.
ReplyDeleteI totally do a & b too. Great post.
ReplyDeleteI don't think we have A, as we keep getting blindsided.
ReplyDeleteBut B we definitely have, and the list is getting longer and longer.
B is also broken into a sub category of people who DEFINITELY shouldn't announce their impending SECOND pregnancy.
This stuff just messes with your head so much.
(your feed's gone funny again, for me at least...)
Scratch that about the feed, it's just popped in.
ReplyDeleteyes I'm thick, sorry.
My pregnancy radar is so good I can spot one at less than six weeks. Coffee avoidance and a slight pallor round the mouth.
ReplyDeleteAs for B, *sigh*. I have a friend who is, oopsie! pregnant with her second. And another, though less oopsiely. They talk about pregnancy. It makes me feel tired. Even though they are discreet and restrained about it. Poor lambs can't win.
My sister is back with her obnoxious husband. If she gets pregnant again before I do... there will be tears before bedtime. She doesn't even like being a mother, FFS.
*Bigger sigh*
yes, I do the same thing. I always let out the breath I've been holding when I see my friends take a big slug of anything alchoholic. I think I've turned into a pusher just so I can relax. "Can I buy you a drink? What? Early meeting tomorrow? Really, have a drink..."
ReplyDeleteI can spot them before they even know themselves!
ReplyDeleteNow that is a radar and a half!
I had an order in mind also, but it has been blown to pieces. I am the only one left. Hope you can keep your list in tact.
ReplyDeleteI definately have both a and b. In fact I have had the pregnancy radar for years. Long before I ever tried to conceive I was able to spot sisters in law and cousins who were only six weeks gone or so. Can't even put my finger on what is was, I just knew. Sometimes I had very vivid dreams about them telling me they were pregnant, other times I just took one look at a knocked up relative and I just knew. Weird.
ReplyDeleteAs for the pecking order, I definately have that. Couples who weren't married when we started ttc are definately behind us on the list. Mind you my brother and law and his wife are one of those couples, and she's booked in for a planned section on Monday. I know one couple who hadn't even got together when we started ttc and they have a baby. How's that for jumping the queue?! Cheek of some people, don't they know the rules? ;o)
I'm just waiting for my brother to ring me up and tell me baby # 2 is on the way.
Yup Amber I'm beginning to think I will be left behind.
ReplyDeleteI Believe, Glad I'm not alone
Xbox, I started going to each social occasion assuming I'll hear about someone who is up the duff that way I'm like a boy scout, (always prepared rather than wearing shorts ad getting badges for lighting fires).
Nuts, Coffee, of course, that way you can play at work not just when alcohol is in the offing.
lovecomesfirst, Naturally I am shocked! ;)
Secret diary, Impressive have you thought about a career as a fortune teller?
Deborah, I'm sure my list will dwindle too
Jane, Like secret D there has to be a way out of making money from this talent. Being lapped by people who were supposed to even beat you once is very hard. Hope you get in there soon.
I've never thought of it as "prego-dar" before, but that is great. I actually completely ruined my Sister-In-Law's last announcement (she has now lapped me twice)..two days before she planned to announce it. She was trying for a Father's Day surprise. I kept telling everyone that she was pregnant and she kept denying it. My MIL (the only one who knew the truth) tried to get me to shut up by telling me that she knew for a fact that my sister in law was in the middle of her cycle because she "saw a wrapper in the garbage can." I looked my MIL right in the face and said "it was probably just some minor spotting; she's pregnant" Looking back I can't help but laugh.
ReplyDeleteMy brothers used to refer to me as the fertility witch back in the 90s. Well now I have a black cat, so I really ought to take it up seriously as a business. Much more exotic than accountancy.
ReplyDeleteBoy, you're generous. NO-ONE was allowed to get pregnant before me! Plenty of 'em did though.
ReplyDelete