Tuesday, 2 September 2008

More Waiting


For the first time in ages I cried today. I walked down the street and burst into tears.

Today I went for the long promised 3D scan.

I could make this funny, regale you with tales about the NHS being so crap that even though I had the first appointment of the day at 9am because the Doctor was late it was still delayed by half an hour.

And how we laughed when the doctor checked my notes and told me that I have been booked in for a hysteroscopy but hadn't even told me, (and of course he didn't have the date, so who knows when it is).

Turns out when the doctor pulled up my notes he saw I had already had one back at the start of May. I have to say this I didn’t know, I have had a few scans and to be honest from my point of view they all seem pretty much the same. Shove up the vagi-cam, wiggle it about, send me packing. Last time it was because I had a possible subseptate womb / uterus. I got the all clear, everything looked normal, things carried on.

Then after the HSG because my tubes looked ragged I was booked in for another scan. I explained that this time he was looking for something different and so he took a look.

The good news is my tubes are fine and dandy, not ragged, nothing.

But I do have a polyps. Which is apparently a small piece of extra skin growing inside my womb “a bit like a grape on a stalk.” Nice.

This needs to be removed before I can start to get treatment for the irregular periods and super ovulation.

Now why, you may ask, was this not discovered during my previous scans in May, or April, or January? Why was this discovered when I have the holy grail of super-ovulation dangled before my eyes with an appointment just three weeks away?

So it is more delays. I now have to get the polyps removed this'll probably be done at the same time as hysteroscopy, whenever that is. Apparently the waiting list isn’t ‘that long’ - but not that long to a doctor is a long, long time when you've been waiting for nearly two years.

So my super-ovulation appointment is going to have to be pushed back, last time it was 2 months from booking it until the appointment date. Now I have to wait until I get the hysteroscopy appointment, then rebook for ovulation.

I’m incredibly frustrated. I have been on hold, waiting for so long, we can’t even go about the business of trying ourselves whilst we wait because as far as I can tell I haven't ovulated since March. And according to the Doctor today - “I don’t think you are due a period anytime soon. There isn’t much follicle activity”.

So I walked out the hospital and wept.



15 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry. It's so hard to feel like you might finally be on your way, only to be knocked back again.

    You might want to check out this blog written by an RE (if you haven't already). Today's post is all about uterine polyps. http://infertilityblog.blogspot.com/

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  2. I'm so sorry to hear your news - I know it's so frustrating to get your hopes up about a treatment option, only to be put off. I hope you can find some good ways to be kind to yourself in the meantime. You're in my thoughts.

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  3. I can't remember how I found you, but you left a remarkably funny comment on someones blog and I just had to click over.

    I'm so sorry to hear about the polyps. I have irregular bleeding and that was one suspect (proven non-existent and now unexplained irregular spotting). Either way - not great news to receive from a dr who sounds like he could seriously used some insensitivity trainig.

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  4. oh god I'm so sorry. Even a tiny delay feels so awful.

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  5. Oh jesus I'm so sorry.

    I know how utterly deflating it can be to leave the doctor with nothing but more delays and setbacks, especially when you go in with enthusiasm and excitement.

    Cry all you fucking want, you are entitled to.

    It WILL turn your way though, it may be longer than you hoped or imagined or even feared, but it will work out for you. I'm certain of it.

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  6. What a shit day!

    It is so hard having to wait for the next stage and it is very frustrating when you feel like you have taken a step backwards.

    I hope you start to feel better soon.

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  7. Oh, I'm so sorry to hear you are having a shit time of it.

    Hopefully they won't keep you waiting long for the hysteroscopy.

    ((((Big hugs)))

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  8. So sorry that you will have to wait to get the ball rolling. Who ever said that all this would be easy? If it were we would not have to go through any of this. UGH...but, I would rather they take care of every lil thing before you start S/O and find out there is something else stopping AF or O and having to wait once you are actually in the game...Ask you doctor is there anything else he should be checking for lol ...WTH...they always find things at the wrong time.

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  9. Thanks very much Amber, that link was really useful odd coincidence that it was published just when I needed it.

    Leslie, I've been eating ice cream with gay abandon since i found out. apparently it'll help...

    Miracles, Noooo! Don't come over today of all days because you thought I was funny. I'm much better normally, this was a shit post. Will do better next time!

    Yup, Penny, still what's another month? (Did that sound convincing?)

    Hey Xbox, I think that's it, I saw an end to the testing and a start of proactive action ahead, then hopes crashed. But then I read about your difficulties getting even more than a cursory once over and know I'm lucky things are still moving, albeit slowly.

    Secret D, Very shit but feeling a bit more up beat now.

    Jane, Thanks for being sympathetic and not telling me to quit whining. I know how much worse it could be, I haven't lost anything but a few more weeks.

    Decade of BFNs, A DECADE!!! ditto above. Cheers

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  10. I wish I could give you a hug. I'm so sorry!

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  11. I'm sorry. Dammit. So frustrating. Gah.

    I had polyps too (removed last summer, little barstewards). They often don't show up properly on HSGs because the pressure of the dye squishes them flat against the side of the womb. Yummy thought, I know, but at least you know hte dear old NHS weren't being RAVING incompetents.

    But at least they've spotted it now and can remove the cursed thing. Not that that makes up for the IMMENSE frustration of all this waiting only to be sent back to wait some more.

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  12. I'm so, so sorry - both for the polyp, and the crappiness of the NHS. This must be unbelievably frustrating for you.

    I think that polyps can show up with very little notice - having had the all-clear from my day 21 baseline ultrasound for IVF2, I then had one appear half way through the cycle. Fortunately, my hysteroscopy was covered by my private health insurance and so I was able to get it removed very quickly. It's apparently important that you do have them removed before undergoing any form of fertility treatment, as they can stop implantation from occurring. I only hope that you do not have to wait too long for an appointment.

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  13. Sweetie, I am so sorry. The waiting and being pushed back and all the other crap is just not right. I completely understand your frustration. I also know that persistance pays off (or at least I hope it does, as I still await the ultimate pay off). Hang in there!

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  14. arrgh, how frustrating. I don't know much about your medical system but it sounds to be almost as much as a pain in the ass as ours. At least with IF stuff, I know none of it is covered, so we get to do it on our own terms.

    I hope things get better soon, and that you get some answers!

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  15. I'm so sorry.

    Why the HELL aren't they giving you something to bring on a period? It's not healthy for your repro system to go so long without one. :(

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