This year has been a testing. Literally.
I've had blood tests, normal scans, 3D scans, a HSG and soon a hysteroscopy.
And the husband has had to take himself off to a small, recently-vacated, clinical room. He has leafed through a couple of well-thumbed 'specialist' magazines and jizzed in a cup. (He was pleased that because of the purpose of the room, none of the pages were stuck together - you don't waste that juice when you are being tested on it).
My results have been inconsistent. Sometimes getting the all clear, other times I go back for a follow up and the original area of concern has disappeared but a new one pops up. (Or 'polyps up' ... no don't go, sorry, it won't happen again)
The husband's one result has come back as 'fine'. Quite frankly his 26% mobility seems paltry to me. I mean if I got 26% on a test I'd be pretty damn disappointed, and quite sure I'd failed. But hey, with so many million swimmers tearing round his testicles that's still an awful lot of them to wriggle its way up to the sweet spot. And as my mate said today, it just takes one.
Our relationship is built on a healthy disrespect, an unrelenting amount of taking the piss and a mutual adoration. We laugh a lot, even about difficult things. Even about the barren wasteland that is my womb. Smug, is how I would describe the husband knowing that he has the all clear.
Of course I have the last laugh 'cause it doesn't matter how good his swimmers are, without me they are nothing. Because if he wants a kid, it is still me he has to fertilize so he can stop swaggering and clicking his tongue whilst glancing manfully at his groin. We are going to have to do this together.
This year has been testing. But our relationship hasn't been properly tested. Not yet. Fuck you infertility you won't beat us!
And that, dear reader, is about as slushy as I get. But (and don't tell him I told you this) he is bloody brilliant, the husband.
**** Update **** Morphology not mobility. That'll teach me for not double checking before writing a post. And some folk say 30% is normal others 14% (or even less) is fine. Either way panic over and thanks to my eagle eyed commenters for a) scaring the shit out of me b) making me go back to the letters.