Before you have time to wonder, I'm not.
I write this post not for my regular readers but for those who, within 7 minutes of seeing the double lines on the pee sick are on the internet wondering what the best way to share the news is.
"I'm thinking maybe a room full of blue and pink balloons. Or maybe ginger-bread men but this time its ginger-bread babies, I'll give them out to the people at work and see how long it takes them to work out why I am grinning like a moron and rubbing my tummy. Fuck it, a fly past by the red arrows spelling out 'I'm having a bbbaaaaabbbbyyyy'".
This is a friendly caution.
You do not know who is trying to conceive.
You know that girl who always goes "Urghh babies! Clearing up shit and puke all the time and not being able to drink for nine months "? She might be trying.
The old bloke at work; him and his lady friend who jet off to the Algarve every three months, they are well past baby making age and don't have kids, they won't give a toss, right? Actually, they may have tried for years and never made it. Never assume they are 'safe'.
My answer? By email. A short, happy one, not too full of details.
Preferably to an email address that you know that they won't check at work but will see at home when they can absorb the news, maybe have a little cry, compose themselves and prepare an appropriate response.
Now I'm not saying tell your partner like this, or your parents.
But, I'm asking you to consider others. Even those who don't seem to want and have never had children. It might well be that even if they have chosen not to have kids there will be a little twinge, and if they are trying/ have tried unsuccessfully it will really sting.
I've told you what to do, here is what not to do:
Don't tell someone at the beginning of the evening when, if they are upset, they have no escape route to breath/ cry/ bang their womb against the wall.
Don't phone them, it might seem impersonal to you to email but consider how long someone whose heart is breaking can keep up the squeaky banter that is required when someone tells them they are having a baby. "Brilliant! Great! Umm! Brilliant?.."
Don't tell anyone how easy it was 'one shot'; you were both pissed; it was a wedding you forgot the condoms. We don't need to know.
If you are a bloke, don't tell everyone how you have super-sperm and stand leg akimbo glancing towards your crotch all evening.
Don't assume that this is the biggest thing that has happened to anyone, anywhere, and will be the natural basis of all conversation for the next 9 months.
Now, I need to point out that this email is a pre-emptive strike, because I don't know who will announce their pregnancy next. I just want to get in there now before the next announcement and when I can give advice without offending the last person to announce their pregnancy.
This is what I reckon.
I might be wrong.
What do you think? How do you want to be told about the next pregnancy?