Sunday, 6 July 2008

We're All Going On A Summer Holiday!

I'm off for a week on Friday.

And when I say 'we're all' going I mean all of this lot. My sisters and oldest friends are renting a house for a week.

In total there wil be 14 adults and (apologies if I get this slightly wrong but I think), 1 three year old, 2 two year olds, 1 one year old, 2 under ones and two in the womb due end of October and end of November. And the dog.

Phew.

I was telling another mate (who isn't part of this group) who is also trying to conceive and she asked me how I felt about being surrounded by so many kids, 'would it be difficult?'

And I though about it. I hadn't really asked myself this question I'd just been looking forward to getting the gang back together (we live in different parts of the country) and having a holiday.

I want to share my conclusions with you (and them, because they read this, although don't comment!).

I'm not jealous or bitter about it at all, I love their kids and really enjoy hanging out with them.

It is like going round to other people's homes (bear with me on this one). Someone might have a really beautiful house, in the perfect part of town but they are stamped with their personal tastes. I maybe wouldn't have chosen that colour for the wall, or sofa, so whilst I can appreciate what they have, and wish I could afford the mortgage, I don't want to move in!

Equally with other people's children they are great to hang out with but I want one that I can see my husband in, or my own traits. (And before anyone gets upset this doesn't rule out adoption, I'm a great believer of nurture over nature and think that our mannerisms will still shine through).

I do feel a stab of pain when another pregnancy is announced but it passes quickly and, as much as anything, as their pregnancies progress I just feel sad that this one will be so much older than mine, when it does eventually appear, so won't be a little playmate.

At 19 months of trying I'm comparatively new to this game, so who knows I might change my mind, it might get harder - and I'll let you know if it does.

On the other hand after a week in a house with so many children it might make me realise just how much freedom the husband and I have, and we'll be delighted to get back to our child-free home complete with the sofa we chose and the flying ducks on the wall!

(And guys, I'm not saying I don't like your kids, or sofas, hopefully you get what I am trying to say - I'm really looking forward to it).



5 comments:

  1. you have a great attitude about other people's kids and I felt like that too.It helps to see the bigger picture.

    I like the house analogy too.
    I was never bitter nor jealous just felt like one day that my turn will come ... and I will do it differently LOL

    Hold on to your hope and are you sure you'll get lots of h u m p with all those people in the house ;) - at least the noise of the kids will be a good cover.

    I hope you have a great holiday with the gang.

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  2. That was very well articulated.

    I do get flashes of jealously when I see kids around, but they are usually strangers, and it's a relatively brief feeling.

    Family & friends, I enjoy (or not as the case may be) being around their kids as much as I (n)ever did.

    The pregnancy announcements ARE a poke in the guts for us though, those we do find hard.

    I found our last group holiday a nice break, but we never totally switched off.

    Good luck with it...!

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  3. Baby~A, Cheers, I going to be one of the first to arrive so will ensure that I get the least squeaky bed, (of course this whole thing is just an elaborate ploy to ensure none of our friends will dare deny us the double beds and consign us to the twin room!)

    Xbox, yeah its funny, its seeing strangers with babies that stirs it up for me too. Maybe because you can to imagine that it was easy for them, or maybe because most of them round here are 14!

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  5. I too feel the way you do. I don't consider myself the jealous sort at all. I don't find it difficult to be around other peoples children, in fact most of the time, I enjoy it (really does depend on the child.) It does pain me a little to hear about pregnancies, because I know we will have children one day, just don't know if it will from my belly.

    Have a great holiday!

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