If I was Phileas Fogg I'd be bounding into the Reform Club, new bride on one arm and the trusty Passepartout lugging my luggage behind.
Instead it has been 80 days since my last period and I have very little to show for it. If I had got pregnant during my last cycle I'd be gearing up for my 12 week scan just now, and probably suffering from morning sickness and feeling bloated - like a bilious hog (do you see what I did there?).
Even Jesus only spent 40 days in the wilderness I've been scratching around with my barren desert of a womb for double that (latent catholicism coming out there - see I'm culturally programmed to have at least 14 kids).
I feel cheated I should be ovulating for the third time since my last period
But I'll try and put a positive spin on it:
Positive: I've saved a fortune on tampax, pain killers and chocolate
But: I've spent a fortune on pregnancy tests and ovulations tests (I'm like the Pavlov's dog of the ttc world, now when I go to the loo I need to pee on something or it doesn't work)
Positive: I haven't had to take any time off work because of crippling period pains
However: I've had to take time off work to get rummaged around in and be prescribed Provera to bring my period on.
Positive: I haven't had to force the husband to have sex
Although: I haven't much felt like having sex
Negative: My mood has been consistently a bit miserable