Monday, 2 June 2008

Don't You (Forget About Me)

I found a site the other day and the writer, a mother of three, said that each time she tried to get preganant her and her husband did everything right, they ate well, they stopped caffine they charted her ovulation cycle. All good. And each time, nothing, then they stopped trying. Tore up the charts and just did what they wanted when they felt like it. Quicker than you can say "is that a pregnancy test in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?" She was pregnant. The moral. Don't try, let nature take its own path.

Nice idea but how the hell do you do that? Fair enough, maybe writing a blog about trying to get pregnant isn't the best way to 'stop trying'. But even if you try to pretend that you are doing what you'd naturally do anyway you can't help, in that post-coital moment, thinking "maybe this is it ..."

In an attempt to fool myself into believing that I wasn't really trying I have continued to drink alcohol, got a dog, gone for promotions, planned holidays. Still nothing.

The answer, I believe, is there is no fool proof way to get pregnant, and anyone out there who confidently tells you what worked for them, it doesn't mean it is a panacea that will work for everyone. Instead it is incredibly unhelpful for people to start swapping 'foolproof ways to get pregnant', there is no fool proof way. And even if 'forgetting about trying to get pregnant' worked for someone there is no real way of telling whether, they would have got pregnant that month regardless of how they acted or not.

Can you tell this has started to piss me off? Has anyone else been give 'tips' by their fertile friends?


  1. I'm a bit on the cynical side but just doing it when you feel like it is not enough, unless you feel like it at the right time!

    I'll gladly accept any help or advice people offer but I know that what it comes down to it, it's a physcial act with a biological reaction that works.

    What does happen I notice, is that people get the timing calculation wrong and go too early or too late.

  2. Thanks Xbox, maybe I was a little harsh and yes, getting advice can be useful as long as the people giving it don't see it as THE way. But anyone who has done web search, as you say, know it comes down to A meeting B and a varying degree of success.

  3. I don't think you were being harsh.

    I KNOW that we all go through phases where we'll grab any suggestion going, I've done it myself.

    But in my heart of hearts, I know it comes down to biology. Unfortunately.

  4. I love the comments where I am told don't stress so much. It'll happen when you least expect it. Forget your cycle days. Just have sex to have sex. You'll have a baby when God thinks you're ready. Maybe now is not the right time for you and that's what the universe is telling you. If you want it, it will come. Think positive. You must not be thinking positive that's why you are not pregnant.

    Don't you love the kindness of strangers? Blech!

    Don't give up hope. Without hope you have nothing.

  5. Hi Jillian, that rings sooo true. Thanks.

  6. Real strangers I don't mind so much, those comments just pass.

    It's friends and those who 'should know better' that freaks me out.

    Just relax....**shudder**


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