Wednesday, 28 May 2008

Face Up To It

Facebook, Friends Reunited, probably Bebo, myspace, facespace, myface, Or just plain googling folk. It all makes it so hard, and so tempting to find ex's, old friends, people you once met on holiday and discover they have children. And its hard.

I looked up an ex on facebook the other day. I had no intention of getting in touch with him but wanted to see if I could find him, let's face it what is the point of the internet if you can't find your exes?

His profile picture was him. With two small children.

My heart stopped.

I couldn't look anymore.

In the first flush of excitement upon joining facebook I became 'friends' with a girl I have barely been in touch with since leaving school. Other than a picture on my friends list she hasn't troubled my inbox, or thoughts, since. But she lurched back into my life this morning with a facebook status update: "Colette is delighted that she is having another boy"*.


Right there.

I knew she already had one child. One that she gave birth to just as I started trying, now she has another on the way.

The moral? There isn't one really. I realised that I half wanted to discover other people who had had children, its like biting a mouth ulcer or prodding a bruise, you know it will hurt but just can't help yourself.

So I've gone into self-protect mode. I've deleted the old friend from my facebook friends list (I've been reliably informed they don't get an alert if you do this so you can slip quietly away). I've stopped myself from looking up people I use to get in touch with. Although I know I will continue to hear about old friends who have had children, and will continue to feel upset by it, I'm not about to go out there looking for it.

Is it just me or do you find yourself scouring the internet for proof of other people's fecundity?

*names have been changed to protect the innocent, I may have also changed whether she was expecting a boy or it might be a double bluff and she really is. You decide!

1 comment:

  1. I know that you posted this some time ago, but I have gone back to start from the beginning of your story.

    1) I did the same thing but on myspace. I looked up an old fling and lo and behold...two kids ...the first a few years after our last fling....

    2) looked up my bff from HS...this girl didnt want kids, had an abortion or two..finally got married...has 2 boys goes to FLA for vacation and comes back pregnant w/ their first girl..!!!

    I feel you completely!!!


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