Sunday, 25 May 2008

Allow me to introduce myself


Thanks for looking in.

Its a Sunday morning and, as is often the case, I'm thinking about why I'm still not pregnant after a year and half of trying. I did a quick search for blogs to find people going through the same things as me, and the only ones I found were of people who now have a baby. You never know maybe this is the answer start a blog about how difficult it is to conceive and - bang - up the duff.

It's my first entry, I hardly know you, so I'm not about to launch into a long tirade or outpouring of emotions, I'm British after all. Equally this isn't the time to go into detail about what I've tried and what I haven't - I'm sure that will come. But if any of the following scenarios sound familiar maybe this blog will help other women in my situation, but its not all about me, please add your comments too, one lone voice isn't much comfort but hearing other peoples stories will help me and all those others out there.

How women like us differ from the rest of the population:
  • you don't mind putting on a bit of weight - you can rub your rounded tummy and imagine
  • you go to yahoo answers and look up questions asked a year ago about chlomid or another wonder drug then virtually 'stalk' the person who posed the question to see if 9 months later they are asking about knitting patterns for babies booties or the best position for breast feeding
  • you curse the fact that so many early pregnancy symptoms are similar to pre-menstrual
  • the two week wait between the green light for conception and when you can take a pregnancy test is exciting, you tell yourself you can test on Sunday but always slip in a cheeky early test on the Thursday because some of these new tests can show a result four days before you are due and you just can't wait any longer - but its always negative
  • at a dinner party or party you have a booze-dar for any woman not drinking alcohol and can't fathom any other reason for their abstinence other than they must be pregnant
  • you have a mental list of women who are younger than you, or in newer relationships and develop a seething jealousy when they have the audacity to 'jump the queue' and get pregnant before you
  • you look at young self obsessed celebrities like Nicole Richie, Charlotte Church and Christina Aguilera who seem to find the whole pregnancy thing really easy and realise life just isn't fair, you are much more forgiving of Nicol Kidman, Jennifer Lopez and Courteney Cox Arquette who seem to have put some real work in!
These are just my signifiers I'm sure you have more - please comment and share.


9 comments:

  1. THANK YOU!!!!! I too am ttc since July of 07 and I am at my rope's end. I will be checking your blog frequently. I can totally relate to you. Do you even have sex for fun anymore? I think this month, I had sex for fun once! Part of me feels like if there isn't a chance to get pregnant, what is the point? I'm going crazy and I appreciate you putting yourself out there and letting the rest of us know others are feeling the same as we are.
    CK
    Email me if you want to!
    Pixypink21@aol.com

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  2. Hey!

    Its Gem aka TTC#1 from Yahoo Answers!.

    So i'm hoping i am commenting in the right place??. IUI has a success rate of 15%, not great but better than nothing. We have been ttc for 2.5 years and this is our last option before IVF. We can have no further treatment on NHS so this treatment inc any further is private!.

    Gem xx

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  3. Thanks Gem, good to hear from you. Good luck! I didn't know the NHS had a cap on how much treatment. Keep in touch and let us know how you get on.

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  4. Oh sweetie. As you have probably guessed from my blog I have kids. The first two were 'wonderful surprises' but the third took many years of trying and angels before he came along. I felt like my body had betrayed me, allowing me to get pregnant when I was far too young, yet when I was the 'right' age I couldn't. Well I could but nothing more than 18 weeks.

    So I have some idea of your pain and frustration. Keep talking, it keeps you sane.

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  5. Hey!, thought i'd pop back. Our first IUI failed :(, looking like second will be mid Aug/beg of Sept.

    Unfortunatly treatment on the NHS is all about postcode lottery, i do not meet the local PCT criteria for IVF as i am too young, need to be 34 to go on waiting list, 35 for treatment. With the IUI it is just not offered on the NHS in this area. However in other areas across the country it is different, its a cruel cruel world!.

    xx

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  6. How happy I am to have found you today. Your blog has had my chuckling as I recognize myself and my funny little '30 something woman who has trying to get pregnant for too long' in every sentence.. About me: 35, almost the big 36 (isn't that when it all starts going tits up officially..?) I am a Brit who lives in Berlin (New Year here is something else hey..). Have been trying to have a baby for 4 years, been pregnant twice, lost the first one at 25 weeks (what a nightmare from hell that was) and the second at 9 weeks (easy peasy by comparison). That was over a year and a half ago now and I just had my second unmedicated IUI (the drugs made me crazy) and will start the IVF challenge in Spring when this IUI doesn't work (I too have become bitter beyond belief about the usefulness of the 'futility' clinic (too funny...) Great stuff - I'll be checking in regularly for updates when I hope I see that we've been proved wrong and you are blissfully up the duff...X

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  7. Thanks Anonymous, Sounds like you have been through utter, utter hell. But thanks for your comment and yes, lets hope our luck starts to change with the IVF challenge.

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  8. I have had an unsettled sleep as it is the night before my transfer It is my second Ivf attempt after numerous iui attempts and a miscarriage and I came upon you site a and I feel like I have found an oxygen tank. Thank you for recording your comments I have reading your site for the last couple of hours . I am so sorry to read about your final attempt. That is so rough.

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  9. I have had an unsettled sleep as it is the night before my transfer It is my second Ivf attempt after numerous iui attempts and a miscarriage and I came upon you site a and I feel like I have found an oxygen tank. Thank you for recording your comments I have reading your site for the last couple of hours . I am so sorry to read about your final attempt. That is so rough.

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I've resisted word verification for ages but I'm getting so many spam comments at the moment that I think it is time. Sorry!